


The Tevinter name - A Cullrian fanfic

by mnemosius



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Bigotry, Cullen hates that he can't protect Dorian, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:49:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3497333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mnemosius/pseuds/mnemosius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An anon wanted me to write about Cullen being protective over Dorian. It got a bit angsty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tevinter name - A Cullrian fanfic

The thing is, Cullen isn’t oblivious to all of it. He hears the whispers, sees the hushed conversations spring up after the mage walks by. He knows that Leliana has already made two people just ‘disappear’ after uncovering their plans to make sure there was one less Tevinter in Ferelden. He’s walked in on Josephine, with frustration and barely-concealed venom hidden behind a veneer of politeness, explain to some uppity noble that no, Dorian was not an enemy, and no, the Inquisition was not going to execute him solely on his birthright. That encounter scared Cullen the most. If the unflappable Ambassador of the Inquisition was beginning to show strain, then such inquiries were an all-too common occurrence.

And even now, after months of waking up to Dorian next to him in bed, feeling the rush of warmth every time Dorian looks at him like he can’t quite believe he’s there, like Cullen is something special, Cullen can do nothing about it.

Oh, he’s thought about it. He could make a public statement to his soldiers (again) that Dorian isn’t an enemy. They’d listen out of respect to him, but he could tell the message isn’t reaching. He could challenge the next person foolish enough to mutter an insult under their breath to a duel, but it wouldn’t do anything about the issue save to make him seem tyrannical.

Cullen is a leader of men. He can control a battlefield, ensure his army’s survival and minimize casualties, even turn the tide of a war, but he can’t do anything to protect the one he loves the most.

What’s worse is that Dorian accepted the way he was treated as his due. After the cook had spat into his soup before serving it to him once at dinner, Dorian had merely showed far too many teeth for a grin, poured the soup on the ground, and announced loftily that such food wasn’t suited to his tastes anyway. He would put on a smile, a laugh, and keep walking, seeming perfectly fine.

And if Cullen didn’t spend so much time looking at him, he might even believe that was true. But he sees how Dorian’s back stiffens almost imperceptibly when someone whispers ‘Tevinter filth’ under their breath, how there’s a brief flash of pain in his eyes every time someone refuses to meet his gaze.

And yet Dorian stays at Skyhold, where he suffers such actions daily. When Cullen had asked him why, Dorian had simply laughed and answered that he could hardly leave when there was still a hole in the sky to be fixed. After all, he had said, it was his country that was responsible for this latest disaster. He should at least help a little with fixing it.

And then, almost as an afterthought, Dorian had mentioned that he could hardly leave Cullen behind now. He intended to keep the Commander by his side for as long as he could.

So for months, Cullen watched as Dorian endured the suffering his home continued to bring him, unable to do anything but hold him all the closer whenever he could. He had tried, earlier on, to explain that Dorian shouldn’t have to put up with all of this.

Dorian’s eyes had darkened at that. “No, Amatus,” he’d said, his voice soft, “this is exactly what I must put up with. I have to show them that I am not what they believe. If I leave, if I fight back, I let them win. Please, let me carry this burden.”

“But surely there must be something I can do to help,” Cullen had protested.

Dorian’s smile at that was something Cullen would remember forever. He’d carded his fingers through Cullen’s hair, pulled him close, and just held him.

“You already are,” Dorian had whispered. “More than you could ever know.”

So Cullen fights down his urge to protect him, to destroy anyone who would dare hurt his love, and watches as Dorian shouldered a burden that Cullen never could.

And when Cullen fights the call of the lyrium as the withdrawal burns a path through his body, as he lies crumpled in a heap on the ground, all pride forgotten, he no longer tells himself he’s doing this for the Inquisition.  
He sees a smile so bright it makes his heart ache. He sees a man far braver than he will ever be, a man who never falters, who keeps walking because he believes that is what he must do. He sees the man he loves so much that it scares him.

If all I can do for him is be there, Cullen thinks fiercely as the pain batters at his consciousness, then I will never leave his side. Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Send me an ask at mnemosius.tumblr.com, if you'd like!


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